When is Christmas…, Really

When exactly is Christmas and how long does it last.  According to some it starts on the day after Thanksgiving and proceeds through Boxing Day.  Of course others believed Christmas marks the beginning of Christmastide, which lasts twelve days and ends with the visit of the Magi.  Either way, crass commercialism or liturgical, in order to appreciate the holiday it helps to be within the three dimensional framework of the here and now.  It matters not if the birth of Christ in our world occurred on September 15 during Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles which is a few days after Yom Kippur, or the date reported by others as April 17 to put him into the astrological Aries sign, hence the Lamb of God.  Heck for all we really know he was conceived during a local Beltane Fire Festival which would put his real birthday very close to mine (very early in February).   What matters is we know and associate the concept with something important.

For me, on December 25 2007 concepts were foreign.  Understanding ‘Why was I here’ had given way to ‘how much longer’ and neither really registered enough as I accepted, and waited.  The special holiday approached, I was told of this, and yet I could not leave the hospital.  How can one give of themselves to those they love when the highlight of their day is walking to the physical therapy unit?  Anyone want to walk on a tread mill.  It doesn’t get you where you want to go.

The day materialized, I saw this on T.V.  And my wife and children came.  My sister came too, from Texas.  I remember my sister had come, but needed to be reminded before I wrote this that others had come too, my sister in law and her husband drove up from Philadelphia, and so I guess my gift that year was to let everyone spend Christmas together, in a resort, of sorts.   We got to eat dinner (they had brought carry out) in the common room at the end of the hall. 

Before this day others besides my wife and kids had come too but these visits were at the trauma center and of this time I still have no recollection.  My brother had driven up from Virginia four or five days after the accident and my nephew had flown in from Denver and ridden up with his father.  My best friend when I was young came up from Virginia (I grew up there) too and brought one of his sisters with him.  I thank everyone who came up during these very dark days and hope I was able to entertain.  

I also hear of the friends and neighbors who did so much for my wife and family and it makes me cry.  Cry in thanks and cry because I want so much to be able to repay, in some way, in any way, and yet I feel so frustrated.  I don’t know how.  My in-laws had raced over from Pennsylvania to watch our children as my wife rushed to the hospital.  A family friend stopped in the hospital on his way home on the first night and gave my wife the support she needed.  Later, I was told, he and his family brought the tree that was used for Christmas that year to our house.  My wife’s sister drove up too, to be with her and support her.  The snow came that year, and it was the neighbors who cleared it from our drive.  The list goes on, and all I could do was sit in the hospital and wonder ‘how much longer’.

Those who visited on Christmas day left and I went to bed.  Early evening was my sleeping time and, as had become habit once they let me out of the cage, I would awake around midnight and watch television.  Only on this night of nights I couldn’t just sit and watch, something was missing, something I had to find.  I got out of bed and walked in the hallway searching.  I don’t remember how long I spent walking up and down the corridor but eventually an attendant helped me to the little nook in the hall where reading material was spread out and then told me to wait.  I sat in a chair and while waiting I pulled the magazines to me.  I looked as a studious scientist might as I delved deep into the problems set forth in the articles I read, and then the attendant returned bearing gifts. 

We sat together and ate ice cream at three o’clock in the morning.  Giving a gift to someone you love on Christmas is wonderful.  Giving a gift to someone in need is divine.  Her gift gave me a very warm feeling.  I do wish I remembered the attendant’s name.