Thoughts on a Movie

Jumping forward for a reflexive perspective

I am jumping forward in time today for several reasons.  One reason is, simply put; In six days it will be three years.  Three years since the truck ran me over and I was airlifted to the trauma center.

Three years is a long time, or a flash in ones eyes as your children grow.  These days I still have some short term memory problems and many times I have to search for words, or replacements, before I can translate my thoughts into speech.  In rehab they gave us different ways to help in this regard many of which centered on ‘making a list’ or ‘writing it down’.   

And so, one of the reasons I am moving forward in time today, besides stating that I have an anniversary coming up, is that I wanted to relay a message while it is still fresh because I was never good at making lists.

Last night my wife, son and I watched the movie ‘Wit’.  The movie was loaned to us by a friend (thank you Caroline).  If you haven’t seen it yet then I warn you, it is sad.  In this movie Emma Thompson isn’t playing Professor Sybill Trelawney (Harry Potter) instead she is Professor Vivian Bearing who is suffering from a stage 4 carcinoma.  The line up for this movie is basically ‘all star’.  It is based on a Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Margaret Edson, and, as mentioned, has Emma Thompson (academy award winning actress) and is directed by academy award winning Mike Nichols.  Not a bad crew and they bring the fine line between life and death home for all to see. 

The take home message of the movie, for me, reminded me very much of my time in the hospital and in rehab.  Without being able to wait for daily visit from my wife, son and daughter, and later when I knew that others were coming, I would have been lost.  No rock, so to speak, to hold on to, nothing that would have lent any sort of sense or reason to my being.  Later while in rehabilitation it was easy to point out those who were not able to move on, to reclaim a semblance of balance in their lives.  It was those who had no family, no one to go home to.  These people had been in and out of therapy as many times as their insurance allowed.  For me, I wanted to go home because when there, I knew, I would be able to sleep in bed with my wife and watch my son and daughter as they moved beyond high school.  I wanted to go home. 

I am better now, to a point, but still unemployed and this brings depression into the mold.  Fortunately I am able to balance that problem because I am so happy to be home and to be alive and to watch my children grow.  Now, if I can ever get more of my first book sold (http://www.comicfictionnoir.com/) or my next three books published, then I could … I have started dreaming again, and to date, these are real dreams.